Hello Reader,
Years ago, I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my life.
People don't simply listen to what you say.
They watch what you tolerate.
If you constantly apologize for taking up space, with your words, body language, or actions, people begin to believe you don't deserve any.
If you never value your own time, why should anyone else?
If you keep saying "yes" while silently wishing you'd said "no", you've just taught people that your needs come last.
Write this question down and post it where you'll see it every day:
Before you say YES to anything, ask yourself...
"By saying yes to this...am I saying no to myself in some way?"
Don't answer from guilt.
Don't answer from habit.
Don't answer from the part of you that's been programmed to keep everyone else happy.
Answer from your heart. Feel what saying "yes" is actually going to cost you.
Just last week another coach asked me to write a testimonial for one of his programs.
Then he added, "Lee, I'm struggling to make the rent on my office. Someone with your following recommending me would really help."
Well, now guilt entered the conversation. For a moment, I felt bad but then I realized something.
I had just launched my own marketing campaign for the final VIP Vision Quest Intensive Days I'm offering this year.
If I suddenly promoted his program, I'd be taking attention away from my own.
As much as I like him that wasn't in my best interest.
So, I kindly told him the truth.
"I care about you, but I can't sacrifice what's important to me in order to help you."
It wasn't easy but it was honest.
And here's what I've learned...
Every time you put yourself last, you quietly teach other people to put you there too.
If you're not putting yourself and your well-being first, you're putting yourself last.
The truth is we're training people every day how to treat us.
Not with our words, with our behavior.
Here are ten reminders even I have to keep close by.
1. Stop chasing approval.
No matter how wonderful you are, someone won't like you.
That's simply a fact of life.
Your job isn't to win a popularity contest. It's to live with integrity.
2. Keep promises to yourself.
Every promise you keep builds self-trust and self-trust becomes self-confidence!
3. Learn to say "No."
One of the happiest days of my life was realizing "No" is a complete sentence.
Sometimes "no" simply means "I'm protecting my peace today."
4. Stop trying to convince people to value you.
If someone repeatedly disrespects you, believe them!
Love yourself enough to stop auditioning for a role in someone else's life.
5. Stop comparing your life to everyone else's highlight reel.
Comparison steals gratitude.
Instead of asking, "Why don't I have what they have?"
Ask, "How far have I come?"
6. Become your own best encourager.
Would you ever speak to your best friend the way you sometimes speak to yourself?
Probably not.
Kindness begins inside your own head.
7. Keep growing.
Read.
Learn.
Exercise.
Take a class.
Challenge yourself.
One thing I'm doing right now is writing with my non-dominant hand every morning before I journal.
A brain expert suggested it to help stimulate new neural pathways.
Will I ever have beautiful handwriting with my left hand? Probably not!
But it's stretching my brain, and honestly... It's been kind of fun.
8. Accept that not everyone will understand you.
They don't have to.
Not everyone will understand your dreams, your decisions, or your next chapter.
You don't need permission to become who you're meant to be.
9. Protect your time.
It's actually more valuable than money.
You can always make more money, you can't make more time.
Choose carefully who gets access to yours.
10. Remember who you are.
Your value isn't determined by your title, bank account, your age, or someone else's opinion.
You had value the day you were born.
Nothing—and no one—can take that away.
The moment you truly value yourself, you stop begging for attention.
You stop settling for less than you deserve.
You stop explaining yourself to people who've already decided not to understand you.
You choose peace over approval.
Respect over popularity.
Authenticity over pretending.
And something amazing happens, the people around you begin responding differently.
Not because you changed them. Because you finally changed you!
Healthy people usually respect healthy boundaries.
The people who become upset are often the ones who benefited from you not having any.
After all, the way you treat yourself quietly teaches others how to treat you.
Here's my challenge for you this week.
Ask yourself one simple question:
"What am I teaching other people by the way I treat myself?"
If the answer makes you uncomfortable...
Good!
Awareness is always the first step toward change.
And remember, the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one you have with yourself.
Is It Time to Put Yourself First?
It's hard to believe we're already moving toward the final months of the year.
If you've been saying, "One of these days..."
Maybe "one of these days" is now.
I'll only be offering my VIP Vision Quest Intensive Days through October, and I have just a few dates remaining.
If you're ready to step away from the noise, gain clarity, and intentionally create your next chapter, I'd be honored to spend that day with you.
Sometimes one focused day changes the direction of the next ten years.
Visit LeeMilteer.com to learn more about my VIP Vision Quest Intensive Days and private coaching.
Remember...Success really is an Inside Job!
My BEST to you and your future!
Lee Milteer
P.P.S. For 24/7 Anywhere/Anytime access to the Gems of Wisdom videos - subscribe to my YouTube channel here.
Also don't forget to subscribe to my podcast Authentic & Unapologetic on Spotify: Here