One of the greatest freedoms you'll ever experience is realizing...
Most of what other people do has very little to do with you.
Read that again.
We spend an astonishing amount of our lives creating stories.
She didn't call.
He looked at me funny.
They didn't invite me.
That client never responded.
The neighbor didn't wave.
Someone unfollowed me.
Within seconds our mind becomes an award-winning screenwriter.
"They're mad at me."
"I must have done something."
"They don't like me anymore."
"They're judging me."
The problem? We almost never know the whole story.
One of my favorite books is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Two of the agreements have completely changed how I look at life.
- Don't Take Anything Personally.
- Don't Make Assumptions.
Those two simple ideas have saved me countless hours of unnecessary stress.
People don't experience life the way you do. They experience life through their beliefs, their fears, their past experiences, their current problems, their health, their finances, their marriage, their childhood, and whatever happened five minutes before they met you.
You are meeting them at one tiny moment in a life you know almost nothing about. Yet we assume we know exactly why they acted the way they did.
We don't.
Maybe they just received terrible news.
Maybe they're overwhelmed.
Maybe they're exhausted.
Maybe they're worried about someone they love.
Or maybe... They're simply having a bad day.
The truth is, people often react from their own inner world, not because of yours.
When someone criticizes you, they're usually revealing far more about themselves than they are about you. People speak from their own level of awareness.
Their own wounds.
Their own fears.
Their own expectations.
The same is true for compliments.
Everything gets filtered through their lens.
That doesn't mean we ignore feedback or become indifferent to others. It simply means we stop handing other people the keys to our emotional well-being.
One question I ask myself whenever I'm tempted to create a story is:
"What else could be true?"
It's amazing how many possibilities suddenly appear.
Instead of assuming rejection... Maybe they're simply busy.
Instead of assuming disrespect... Maybe they never saw the email.
Instead of assuming someone is angry... Maybe they're dealing with something you know nothing about.
When we stop assuming... We stop suffering quite so much.
I've coached thousands of people over the years, and I can tell you this: The vast majority of emotional pain isn't caused by what actually happened. It's caused by the meaning we attach to what happened.
That's good news because if we can change the meaning, we change the experience.
So this week, before you jump to a conclusion...
Pause.
Take a breath.
Ask yourself:
"Do I actually know the whole story...or am I filling in the blanks?"
Most of the time we're filling in the blanks and those blanks are usually wrong.
Give people a little grace.
Give yourself a little grace.
Life gets much lighter when you stop carrying stories that were never true to begin with.
Here's to living with a little more peace and a lot fewer assumptions!
Your Weekly Challenge
Before reacting this week, ask yourself these three questions:
- Do I know this for a fact?
- What assumptions am I making?
- What else could be true?
You may be surprised how much unnecessary stress simply disappears.
A Special Invitation For You
If you've been carrying around confusion, hurt, or uncertainty and you're ready for greater clarity, perhaps it's time for an outside perspective.
Sometimes one meaningful conversation can help you separate facts from stories, fear from truth, and assumptions from possibilities.
Whether through a private coaching session or a VIP Vision Quest Day, we'll work together to help you quiet the mental noise, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and move forward with confidence.
Because clarity changes everything.
Are you ready?
Learn More About VIP Days: https://milteer.com/vip-personal-vision-quest-retreat/
Learn More About 1-on-1 Coaching: https://milteer.com/coaching/
Think Rich,
Lee Milteer
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