There’s an ancient piece of wisdom that says: “Life and death are in the power of the tongue.”
Whether you look at that spiritually, psychologically, or scientifically, I think there is something incredibly powerful there. Because the words coming out of your mouth aren't just describing your life. They may also be helping DIRECT it.
Think about how casually we make declarations about ourselves:
“My memory is getting terrible.”
“I’m too old for that.”
“I’m just not good with technology.”
“I always get sick.”
“I can never lose weight.”
“Money just flies out the door.”
“I could never do what she does.”
And my personal favorite: “Well, at MY age...”
Good grief. Sometimes we start talking ourselves into the rocking chair decades before we need one.
And here's what I find fascinating... Science has been studying the connection between our thoughts, emotions, nervous system and even immune function for years. There’s actually a field called psychoneuroimmunology.
Try saying THAT three times quickly. Frankly, I think pronouncing it correctly should count as a brain exercise. But underneath that giant word is a pretty simple idea: Your mind and body are constantly communicating.
When you continually perceive danger, helplessness or threat, your body can respond with a stress response.
And here's the part I want us to pay attention to: Sometimes the threat isn't standing in front of us. Sometimes we're creating it with our own language.
Think about the difference between these two statements:
“Everything is falling apart.”
and
“I’m dealing with a difficult situation, and I’m figuring out what to do next.”
Same circumstances, very different message.
One says: PANIC!
The other says: PAY ATTENTION. WE CAN HANDLE THIS.
Now, I am NOT suggesting that words are magic spells. If you break your leg, please don't sit on the sofa chanting: “My leg is perfectly fine.” GO TO THE DOCTOR!
This isn't about denying reality, it’s about being careful not to make reality WORSE with the story you're continually telling about it. And this goes far beyond health.
Suppose you've spent twenty years saying: “I'm terrible with money.”
Every financial decision is now being filtered through an identity you've rehearsed thousands of times.
Or: “I'm just not a technical person.”
Then someone shows you something new and before you've even tried it, your brain says: “Oh, we don't do THAT.”
Or maybe: “I'm too old to start over.”
According to whom? Where exactly is the official age limit for reinvention? I'd like to see the paperwork.
Our brains are adaptable throughout life. They learn through experience and repetition.
So the language we repeatedly use about ourselves matters because it helps reinforce what we expect, what we attempt, what we avoid and what we believe is possible.
That’s VERY different from pretending something is true when it isn't.
You don't have to say: “I’m completely healthy!” when you're dealing with a health problem.
You could say: “I'm doing everything I can to support my health and recovery.”
Instead of: “I can't learn this.”
Try: “I haven't learned this YET.”
Instead of: “I’m terrible with money.”
Try: “I'm learning to make smarter decisions with my money.”
Instead of: “My life is a disaster.”
Try: “I'm in a period of change, and I'm finding my way through it.”
Notice something? None of those statements are fantasy. They're simply better instructions. They leave room for possibility and this is where I think the ancient wisdom about the tongue becomes so interesting.
Your words become your stories.
Your stories influence your beliefs.
Your beliefs influence your choices.
Your choices become your habits.
And your habits have an enormous influence on the life you create.
So perhaps there really IS life and death in the tongue—not because every sentence magically manifests something... But because the words you repeat eventually become very difficult to separate from the person you believe yourself to be.
So here's my challenge for you this week: Listen to your declarations.
Especially the ones that begin with:
“I always...”
“I never...”
“I can't...”
“I’m too...”
“That’s just who I am...”
When you hear one, STOP.
And ask yourself: “Do I really want to keep giving my brain that instruction?”
Because you may have been saying something about yourself for so long that you've forgotten... You’re allowed to change the script.
Choose words that leave room for growth.
Choose words that support the person you're becoming.
Choose words that point you toward possibility instead of limitation.
Because your tongue isn't just telling the world who you are.
It's telling YOU who you are and you are always listening.
And if this idea of changing the script hit home for you, you might enjoy my book, Success Is an Inside Job.
I wrote it around a truth I’ve seen play out over and over again: What happens inside of us has an enormous influence on what we create outside of us.
If you're ready to examine some of the old beliefs, habits and stories that may be running your life without your permission, this book will help you start rewriting them.
You can find Success Is an Inside Job in my online store at Milteer.com.
Because sometimes the next breakthrough doesn't begin with doing MORE.
It begins with changing what you've been telling yourself.
Success Really Is an Inside Job,
Lee Milteer
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