When Should You Take A Stand, Versus When Should You Take A Seat?


We all have tough decisions to make about when to speak up and when to hold our tongues.

Disagreements happen in all sorts of scenarios.

Whether that be work, personal relationships, family, friendships, and even in everyday interactions with the general public.

The trick to knowing when to take a stand, is knowing what you value.

An instance that helped define who I was and what I valued happened some time ago.

While at a social event I noticed an influential person in the group slandering a friends good name.

When I spoke up and defended my friend’s honor, I knew before I said anything there would be consequences from this verbal abuser.

More importantly, I knew she would continue her attacks until someone stood up to her.

See, she was so used to everyone sitting down, versus taking a stand against her!

I knew from past experience that when someone dared to stand up to her they were often cast out of the group.

For me, there was no other option.

I could NOT hold my tongue, I had to stand up for my values!


Stand Up


I knew what was right!

Morally I was obligated to speak up and defend my friend who was innocent of all her lies and slander!

After this tense altercation, the circle of women broke apart although many of them approached me individually with a “thank you” for standing up to this bully.

Truth is, they had seen the injustice being done by her, but didn’t feel strong enough to stand up against her.

Many had business relationships with the “dentist” and really did not want to jeopardize them or be ostracized from her lavish parties.

I wasn’t upset with them, I am all too aware of how hard it can be to know when it is the right time to stand up and when you should sit down.

The difference for me was that I value truth over being compliant!

Those who know me appreciate my virtue and integrity.

For me, the choice of speaking up to defend a good person, and friend, who was being publicly slandered outweighed the consequences of never being invited to certain parties

It truly was a no brainer.

I had to defend a good person!

Will I miss the parties? Not more than I would miss my integrity.

What do you do when faced with possible punishment or social repercussions for standing up for the truth?

  1. It is best to speak up in the most positive way possible.
  2. Don’t make it personal and never lower yourself to another person’s level if things go south.
  3. Speak from the perspective of personal experience.
  4. Keep in mind that nothing you can say or do usually changes anyone else’s mind.

Nothing beats being able to look at yourself in the mirror and know you have been honest and done the right thing at the right time.

So your point of power here is to remember everyday that you have the choice NOT to take things personally.

People are who they are, and always show their true colors in their actions and choice of words.

You will find that the right people, those who you are in alignment with and you want to spend your time and energy with will show up!

Follow me on Youtube to see more helpful tips at learning to stand up for yourself and others, as well as how to use your virtues and integrity to grow your business!

Lee Milteer’s Youtube Channel