I’d like to share with you is some tips on how to deal with a bad day. Here’s the truth: we all have bad days. It’s just some people allow their bad days to turn into bad weeks, to turn into bad months, to turn into bad years. Here’s the truth: no one is in charge of your mood but you. No one can hurt your feelings and no one can make you mad.
Now I know this flies in the face of, you know, the whole world being a victim. But the truth is, once you accept this responsibility—that you choose to give your power away to other circumstances—then here’s the secret: you can take it all back.
All you have to do is have this awareness of: at every moment of my life I’m 100% responsible for my own happiness. The outside world may or may not help me become happy. However, I have this choice every single day—that’s my power. And the choice is to not give my power away to technology, not give my power away to situations, or other people.
The one great secret about not having bad days is truly give yourself permission to not take other people’s behaviors personally. If you really look at most people, they are unconsciously going through life doing the best that they can. They’re not deliberately trying to hurt your feelings or ignore you. The truth is they have very little bandwidth to think of anything but themselves. So when you’re having a bad day because of something has gone wrong, I really want you to realize there are some mind hacks that you can do.
First. First mind hack is to understand that you cannot think of two things at the same time. So if you’re thinking about what a bad day it is, you can’t be thinking about all the fantastic, grateful things that are happening in your life. And since your mind can only focus in on one thing, what you focus in on expands. So it is your job every single day to focus on the things that make you happy, that make you feel better, that you have, feel that you have, control over.
And so, it really is this decision to do a pattern interrupt in your life. So when you realize that things have gone bad, first have the skill of awareness. “Oh I’m in an unresourceful state of mind. I am not feeling good. I am upset about something.”
Give yourself permission just for a moment to just say, “OK this is the way it is. However I do have the power to change that.” So a pattern interrupt could be anything. There could be lots of different things you could do. Whatever gives you stress relief. For example, I have a little dog right there, who’s sleeping, but if I’m having a really challenging moment I will go over there and pick her up and hold her for a few minutes and get a little dog love.
I may go outside and stand in the sunshine for a few minutes. I may actually walk around in nature. I may go do something like call a friend of mine and just chat for 15 minutes. But any kind of pattern interrupt where I’m not thinking about the bad day. And again there’s that give yourself permission to get out of that.
The other thing I want you to do is I want you to forgive yourself for whatever part you played in the bad day. Because there are things that happen to us that turn bad. However we tend to make them worse. So first forgive yourself and forgive everybody else that is involved with that. Because, remember, when you’re pointing at someone there are three fingers pointing back at you. And so you’re truly responsible for a portion of that bad day.
Another thing you can do when you’re having a bad day is you can reframe it a little bit. In other words stop putting the spin on it’s the end of the world as we know it. In the big picture of life, one of the things I do on a regular basis is I go to a planetarium. And I love to go look at where the earth is in the Milky Way and it’s just the millions of stars and planets and moons and Suns. And I’m on this little, teeny earth. It’s really tiny in the universe. And on the earth I’m in this little teeny place in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and that what that really means to me is my problems in the big picture of life are really very insignificant. And I am personally making those problems worse than they need to be.
Another thing is actually write—a another pattern interrupt is—write a short list of what you’re grateful for. One of the things that I know—that if I can start to get into gratitude or I can shift my energy to be of service to someone else—drop out of being Lee Milteer and work into being of service to someone else—that I truly will get myself out of that bad mood.
Another thing is I definitely want you to ask yourself, “Where is this pattern from? Who did I learn it from?” You may find that you are annoyed and have frustration about things that—you know it’s just a pattern, it’s just something you learned from society, or your parents, or somebody that was close to you. And you can choose to create a different pattern. You can choose to have that same situation, but a different outcome.
And you can be very proactive and visualize exactly what you want. You can also script exactly what you want in life to help you with those kinds of patterns.
And just be aware that your real job in life is to look for solutions and stop complaining about the bad day. “OK, so things have gone wrong. That is where we are right now. My big power in life is the solutions I go to next, where I focus my energy next.”
So here are some hacks that you might really want to consider for any kind of bad day, and remember in the big scheme of your life, you won’t even remember it. For the most part, most things you won’t remember.
So stop spending $100 worth of energy on a 10-cent problem. Something that, if you simply paid it no mind, meaning you stop thinking about it, would float away into your life. So see you next week. This is Lee Milteer.
P.S.: Another way to deal with bad days is to have a truly remarkable support system, such as Millionaire Success Smarts® Club. We meet twice monthly on Zoom to make all our days the best they can be!
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Do yourself a favor and become involved with a Support System that can assist you to thrive in the current challenges life is presenting to us.
BEST Wishes, Lee
P.P.S. Remember You’ll Never Know what you are Capable of until you take that first step and go for it!
Lee understands how to motivate all of us to reach for more. Most of all Lee’s effect on me has been profound! I have found new energy I thought was long since gone. I have become hyper organized and have seen an improvement across the board in my business. — Art Mason, Martial Arts Professional Teacher