Dealing with Haters

You won’t ever have fans without also having haters! Sadly, this is a reality of life. Let me tell you about my most recent hater and how I dealt with the situation.

As most of you know, my oldest and best friend Dan Kennedy has been in hospice. (Very recently we got the great news that he is now able to leave hospice!) On social media I had been sharing photos and small insider stories of him and me. I will be honest, MOST people love them. Lots of positive feedback.

Then one day, a guy I have never met wrote in public:
“Lee is also becoming a tad bit annoying. We get it Dan and you were best buds and we have all felt close loss in life. I personally would like to her more about Dan and less about Lee. Really Lee enough with you In every pic and post.”

Of course, not being a fragile flower I answered back he was free to block me.

Then the hate sincerely started, with him ranting about how much I needed attention. It got seriously ugly on his end. I am human and, frankly, since I was at the time so raw about Dan’s predicament, this stunned me. It’s hard to write stories about someone you love so much who could pass away at any time.

My point is, no matter how pure your heart and intentions, please KNOW there are people who project what is going on within themselves that they dislike or hate, but are in denial about THEIR OWN DARK SIDE so they find fault with you.

If you read these exchanges on social media first-hand you would have concluded that THIS GUY was the one who needed the attention. But soon, this exchange did not provide the kind of attention he wanted. People came out of the woodwork and spoke up, “What the hell is wrong with you?” It was a big firestorm for sure! The HATER couldn’t take the heat and dropped out of the conversation.

So, as I said, you won’t ever have fans without also having haters! None of us really like this reality but it comes with the turf if you are in the entrepreneurial game or out in the public in any capacity. I will admit to you haters do tend to challenge your mood if you let them.

I find it helpful to have this quote from the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz on my bathroom mirror:

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.

In his book the author says,
“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind: they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world …Their point of view comes from all the programming they received during domestication.”

Our job is to stay as neutral as possible if we want to be immune to what others say and do.

That is a very hard job unless we give ourselves permission to put ourselves in the driver’s seat, decide to love ourselves first, and just be an observer – not a reactor.

A very famous and respected Author and Professional Speaker said to me just last week in a private coaching session,
“I had a thousand people cheer and give me a standing ovation, while one person booed. That night all I could think about was the one individual who booed me all night and it ruined the entire event for me. ”

We have all had this sad encounter where we let someone RUIN our experience with their words.

Yes, it is so bizarre how we give so much power to the insignificant and disgruntled. The point here is to be aware when you give your power away to someone who frankly is having internal self-worth and self-esteem issues, and is taking it out on you. It is so easy for them to hook you and feed you poison IF you take their opinion personally.

We can’t help but allow others to have their own thoughts, but we can allow ourselves to be immune from them.

We have a saying at my house: “Turn the Page.” Okay, so something happened that was not fun. Let’s stop telling the story and giving it power. Let’s Turn the Page and move on with our life story without this person or situation controlling the narrative.

Keep in mind when you choose to give your power away by taking something personally and feeling offended, you’ve set yourself up to suffer in a conflict that demands you use your precious life energy to defend yourself or your belief.

And it’s a conflict you can’t win. It’s just like arguing politics on social media—has ANYONE ever changed their mind due to someone else’s ranting? NO.

So the next time you are TEMPTED to argue with anyone ask yourself: “Do I really want to waste my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy on this?” Instead, why not spend it on something profitable or fun? What you focus on Expands, so focus on something else more positive and your life will go in that direction.

Remember this great Trick: if you want to change the story in your life, TURN THE PAGE.

Love to all of you,

Lee

Lee Milteer
Business & Life Strategist

P.S.
If you’re ready to Turn The Page of your life story, you should consider some one-on-one coaching with me. I can help you identify, focus on, and achieve your big life goals! Call for more information 757-363-5800 or email [email protected] to be sent an Investment sheet.