Control Yourself, NO Matter What!

Dealing with Stress in an Overly Stressful World


Has the last two plus years of complete insanity and Political wars exhausted and upset you about the way the Government, Health Care Systems and other people have behaved?  Never in our lifetime have we seen so much anger, distrust, and division in the world.

We should deal with one of the biggest stressors that entrepreneurs deal with daily, which is controlAngry Stressed Manling our anger. You know, most people don’t really talk about our Type-A personalities as business owners.  Clearly, we can, and do lose our cool from time to time; we are human.

A serious issue I find coming up not only in my Business Coaching sessions and in my Success Smarts business Club is the overwhelming stress people are experiencing.  We cannot deny this is a big issue that we must face and need to find way to get our stress under control. Let’s be brutally honest here, often we have the right to be ticked off!

The world seems to have lost their collective minds! It appears with lockdowns, forced mandates, out of control government spending, and the hate and division we are seeing between people.  We also deal with daily business stress such as:  people not following up or doing what they say they’re going to do for us.

We deal with the frustration of suppliers giving us wrong information, or delayed delivery times that result in our looking bad to our clients. We deal with the anger caused by being loyal and breaking our back for clients that do not do the same for us and who will dump you for just a small amount of money.

We deal with the frustrations of trying to fit a balanced life into a 24-hour period, and not having times for our loved ones, kids, family, or hobbies. We deal with the anger of working very hard and still occasionally losing money.

Daily we are faced with mistakes from our employees, and the frustrations of events out of our control. Unchecked anger can have a negative effect on the quality of your life as well as cost us:  time off, profits, business, marriages, and staff.

Solutions for StressBe aware, anger not only disrupts your life it puts brakes on your profits, productivity, creativity, and ruins your day; but can also have a very detrimental effect on your overall life and health. It’s important to know where your Achilles heel is when it comes to stress.

For example, my stress is the highest when my computer has technical problems, and if there are typo mistakes in my work. I know these things can send me into a higher state of stress than almost anything else.

So, when I have these challenges I need to pause, take a moment and put things into perspective before I blow up and alienate my clients, customers, staff, friends and family. I know from my past behaviors that when I am mad, I simply make matters worse because I am focused on the problem and not the solution.

Many times, what upsets people the most is not what actually happens, but when expectations are not met. We as entrepreneurs make the terrible mistake of expecting other people to appreciate the importance of our time and efforts.

When you have a more realistic outlook, you won’t be setting yourself up for disappointment and anger if everything doesn’t go smoothly. We live in an overstressed world with traffic jams, rude people, and screaming kids.

You have to just expect that things aren’t always going to go well. No one, and nothing in life, is perfect. If you don’t expect everyone to be on your schedule, then you won’t be upset when they’re not.

One of my business associates told me recently that he expects a whole bunch of things to go wrong daily. He said the reason he sets himself up to expect problems, is so when things do go wrong, he’s not surprised or angry.

His attitude is there is going to be problems every single day since that is life!!

Best advice is to take the attitude of; if there is a problem there is a solution.

Stop focusing on the problem and start focusing on the solution.  Since you can only think of one thing at a time and not forget –what you focus on EXPANDS.

The truth is there is no need to get bent out of shape because things are not going smoothly. The more upset we are the less effective we are in finding true solutions to the problems.

There are a couple of techniques that really work when feeling frustrated and angry:

Reframe the Situation. Ask yourself what really matters. Put things into perspective. This is not life or death. Give yourself a break and be nice to you! So, what if you are not perfect! WHO IS?  Also ask yourself—is there a hidden opportunity you are not seeing from the situation?  If this is a challenge for you, could you find a solution that fixes your problem, how could you leverage that information?  This is a worthy way to look at your problems—there may be a pot of gold at the end of the storm that you can utilize.  We business owners are always fixing problems and challenges so why not monetize on that energy and efforts?

Relax to Alleviate StressRelax. Relaxing is another important thing to do when feeling anger and stress. Take a deep breath. Calm down. Is what you’re upset about worth putting your health in jeopardy? Counting to 10 is an old remedy but it still works. The main reason that works is because it keeps your mouth shut. The more grounded you are the better decisions you will make.

Consider alternative ways of getting your anger in control such as a pattern interrupt on yourself when you feel yourself going over the edge. Keep in mine you are your own boss.  BE nicer to yourself and stop being a slave driver when you are in a unresourceful state of mind.

It is important to have some OPTIONS written out for your to choose from since when you are upset, we all seem to develop amnesia about solutions.

Take a brisk walk outside for five minutes and change your thoughts from negative to positive.  Ask yourself empowering questions such as the one I wrote about above such as when I find these solutions how can I utilize it?

Go Play with your four-legged fur kids since they are natural healers and will calm you down, and alleviate your stress.

Switch whatever you were doing to something that gives you a feeling of accomplishment before going back to the challenges.

Whatever you do make sure it nurtures you till you find yourself calm and in control again. Your mind, body, and the people around you will thank you.

React rationally. Become an actor not a reactor to life. Grow up and stop thinking the world is supposed to revolve around you. The true power we have in life is the control we have within ourselves.

You cannot think that the whole world revolves around you because if you do everything it takes on far more importance than it should. Let’s face it, nobody on the other side of the world cares about what you do or how you do it.

Keep in mind that many people are slowly killing themselves and their own creative profit making abilities every time they get angry.

Remember every time you get angry the entire chemistry of your body changes, making you more susceptible to illnesses and aging. Change yourself; talk when you find yourself getting upset. Stop beating yourself up when things go wrong.

Put that same energy into finding a solution. What you focus on becomes more of your experience in life. Focus on what is good in your life! Act more mature, YOU GOT THIS type thinking and keep your eye on the solutions and not the angry frustration outraged feelings.

Stress EmotionsTo better manage your anger, recognize that anger is an outward expression of frustration and fear. Find ways to vent frustration that will not cause other problems with staff, family, or clients. Go play sports or workout, if that will help but don’t take your frustrations out on the people around you and help alleviate your stress.

An important tip that you should remember about yourself and others is that most people who are angry lash out because they don’t have the words or abilities to express their frustrations in appropriate ways. Your job is to stay calm and cool and not be a reactor to their frustrations and do not take anything personally.

Your job is to be professional and look for solutions; not add gas to the fire. Release your ego’s first responses and give yourself 24 to 48 hours before you respond when things are very tense.  A bit of cooling down time normally helps everyone calm down faster.

A suggestion that I use is to get away from the location if possible where I felt the upset and find a quiet place and write out exactly how I feel.

If I am angry at someone I might write them a letter ( which I will never mail) and get the pent up frustrations out on paper so I will not be tempted to say these things in real life.  Then I tear up the paper or burn it but I got the things I wanted to say out of my system .

If you mail the letter, you will then have to deal with the repercussions or consequences of that moment of anger.

The truth is as entrepreneurs we must deal with anger whether it is ours or others almost daily. The calmer you are and the more you put life into perspective the better decisions and choices you will make.

Stay away from the things and people who cause you to react negatively when you are in a mentally or emotionally challenged place since those can trigger you into actions you might regret.  For example, avoid the NEWS since that can push almost anyone over the cliff in difficult days!!

The truth is no one makes profitable decisions while they are angry. It’s your job to find ways that allow you to empower yourself during stressful times.

The only power that you really have in life is not to control others but to learn to control yourself. Most successful millionaires have found ways to cure themselves of allowing angry feelings to dominate their lives.

Preventive stress management is also important so you might want to consider that all work and no play makes us all stressed out and cranky. You might want to take up a sport or hobby to keep you centered and relaxed. Life is way too short for us to stay upset and angry over minor problems. You have only 1440 minutes to every day, spend them well.

Here are some suggestions to Ask Yourself to bring yourself back into your own natural sanity and awareness not to let external situations throw you off balan

ce and you do something stupid.  Get clear about what you can and cannot change. There is no need to waste your life energy being upset about things you have no control over.Stressful Time

Ask yourself exactly why are you upset?

Is this worth being upset over?

How can I handle this problem without becoming upset?

How can I express this anger without making a fool of myself?

I have a couple of other resources for you to consider:  2023 CAN BE LESS STRESSFUL and Can Become a Great Year IF You Decided to Work on Your business and yourself Differently this Year.
As a bonus to you—I would be thrilled to gift you a month of the New Smarts® Club to Test Drive and experience for yourself the benefits and wisdoms—as well meet the Smarts members who are involved—and A $500 free online course on how to get on TV.

Activate Your Inner Power

Go check it out at: If you would like to have a free month to get MASTERY TRAINING from me, an interview of a famous THOUGHT LEADER, live Q & A with me and the members, and much, much more then just simply email our office at [email protected].

One of my staff will happily give you the codes to join us live for one month which will include 2 live zoom meetings.  This gift is worth up to $600-PLUS to you!

Also please do invest in my latest bestselling book is ACTIVATE YOUR INNER POWER.

You can find it at my website or order it directly from Amazon.

Buy Here